Be Gentle With Your Selves

  In my work with others over the past few years there has been a constant theme that comes up. You will probably be surprised by what it is! Time and time again I am reminding clients to be gentle with themselves. So often our inner dialogue is a harsh, even violent one. The language we use externally is often violent also. How often do you use or hear the words, "hate" and "kill" in normal conversational contexts? I often hear, "My husband/wife would kill me if I said/did...." and "He/she would hate it if I...". These seem to be such common phrases that we don't think twice about what is really being said. 
Our internal voices are much more vicious and critical. We call ourselves all kinds of names, all underlining the fact that we are not good enough, smart enough or worthy enough. Always that we are not enough. We carry guilt burdens that weigh down every aspect of our lives. Who said we must feel this way? Who piles on the shame and guilt? Whose voice is it that tells you these lies? 
We must be gentle with ourselves, kind in the way we speak and in the way that we treat our bodies. 
I encountered a woman at the gym the other day. We chatted about exercise, I was finishing up and she as just getting started. She was talking about how she never looked forward to it and was wishing she hadn't come that day. I said, " I almost didn't make it either! I had to go back home to get my shoes and then debated whether to come back." She said that she would not have come back and asked why I did. I explained that I did it for love. She asked, "For the love of who?" I said, " Of myself! I feel so much better when I work out, I do it for me." She went silent and turned away, I thought she was just going to ignore me after that. Instead she said, "I hate myself." I was so shocked to hear her admit so bluntly how she felt about herself. My immediate response was, "Well, that's not very nice! You should be nice to yourself!" She walked away.
Many punish their bodies through exercise, food restriction, overwork and with verbal insults. Our bodies are here to serve us, carry us through this life and assist us in enjoying the many pleasures that this physical life has to offer.
Be gentle. Be kind. Start with yourself, then you can offer these gifts to those around you.