Everyday Trauma: Part Two

   Thank you so much to those who commented on my Facebook account and here in the blog comments regarding my first post about trauma.
Your comments and encouragement meant so much to me, and helped me to make some decisions about where to go next with this process.
      I didn't feel ready to write again until the process of having my tooth fixed was completed. I did have to go back to the original dentist to finish the procedure. Before going, I did a lot of thinking, feeling and verbally expressing my feelings to a neutral party (my therapist). I felt like I would be ready to advocate for myself when the time came and that I was in a more prepared space. 
    My appointment was Thursday, two weeks ago. Once I got to the office, my stomach was really upset and I had to spend a little time in the restroom before sitting down in the dentist's chair. I asked the hygienist what the procedure would be to take the temporary cap off my tooth and put the permanent one in its place. She gave me short answers, "We will take it off and put the new one on." I asked, "How will you get the old one off?" She replied, "With a burr." So it was obvious that even though I was being proactive, I wasn't going to get a lot of information from her.
​     When the dentist came in I asked him the same questions and got the same responses. Apparently a burr is a drill. They had to cut off the old cap and then glue the new one on. They also ground down a couple of my lower teeth so that they would not make contact with the new one. The treatment was the same as before, with little interaction, however because I knew what to expect, it wasn't as traumatic. The whole thing only took 25 minutes. Once it was finished and I was right-side-up again, I asked if there were any aftercare instructions and how long it might take for the swelling to go down. The dentist informed me that there was no way he could make a guess about how long it would take for the swelling to go away, because everyone heals at a different rate. I asked then, for a ballpark so that I would know if there was a problem. He refused to give me any kind of info. I asked again, when I should be concerned, he said, maybe I would need gum surgery if there seemed to be a problem that wouldn't go away. I knew at that point that I was SO done with this guy. He seems to care more about covering his ass than patient care. I left and will not be going back and neither will anyone else in my family.
     Going back to that office was a really hard thing to do, but I did try to be more prepared and be a good advocate for myself. I was not as shaken up the second time because I could prepare myself and also knew more of what to expect. It wasn't a good experience by any means, but it wasn't traumatic in the way that it was before. I think a major factor in trauma is the element of surprise as well as feeling helpless. Because I wasn't surprised and I was ready to advocate for myself in that situation, I was able to handle it much better. Because I always expect things to go "normally" I am not the kind of person who plans for the worst. This is good in a lot of ways, but can also make me more "trauma sensitive". Having this awareness means I need to be better prepared to speak up for myself and ask questions before letting others take charge. I feel like this has been a good lesson in self-advocacy.
Take care.

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